Do you feel that your relationship has lost the spark? Well, at some point, every relationship does. After the initial lovey-dovey period, it would feel like a boring routine of talking, cuddling and sleeping. 

Good news: It can be improved with some efforts and the spark would be back. 

Bad News: If you can relate to the signs listed below, you might be in a toxic relationship.

1. You Are Always Told That You Are Wrong

Criticism is good when it gives you an opportunity to grow into a better version of yourself, but if you are facing a 'You're Wrong, I'm right' argument, you are living under a toxic hut. You are constantly blamed for what you did was wrong without any logical reason. It is wrong because they think it is, yeah, just like that!

2. You Have Forgotten Self-Care

In the constant efforts for contributing towards your relationship, you've lost all your ME time. You plan your schedule according to their needs, you do things according to them and you are devoting all your time to them. What might seem a common thing or "adjustment" in relationship, it's actually very toxic. You both need some space to do your own work, putting efforts is good but forgetting yourself in the process is the worst thing you can do in arelationship.

3. You Are Being Controlled

angry girl

You do have dominating people in your life but it starts irking when they try to control you, no? A lot of us give in to our partner's demands because we think that it is just how relationship blooms. Wrong...completely wrong. There is a thin line between being loved and being controlled. They love you when they bring you a dress, they control if they decide when should you wear it. They love you when they want you to spend time with your friends, they control when they decide who those friends should be.

4 Your Self-Esteem Is Stripped

Every single time that you're around them, your self-esteem is stripped. You've started doubting yourself, your strengths and your skills. "You should wear less-makeup", "You should change your dress sense", " You should be fit like her", "You are too short", " You should apply this fairness cream to be fairer", " Why are you wearing this revealing outfit", "Your cleavage is visible, you should delete this photo from Instagram", statements like such can rip you apart. 

5. You Are Mentally Drained

Things are just going wrong. You keep wishing that your partner changes but all those efforts in that direction are in vain. You want to make this relationship better, but you are struggling at it. Your Mental Health is disrupted, Mental Peace is ruined. You've stopped arguing with them and it's more like 'Jaise chalta hai chalne do' attitude, do you realise, you are actually mentally drained?

6. You Are Always Hanging Through A Cliff

relationship advice

It almost feels like walking over thin ice, one wrong move and the ice will crack. You know things are not going good. Every act of theirs puts your patience to test and every act of yours makes them mad. It's like living over an edge, you never know when things can take a bad turn. In severe cases, it can turn to abuses, both physical as well as verbal and this is the point when you need to rethink this relationship.

7. You Are Not You Around Them

You plan your moves and mould your statements in an attempt to please them. You are pretending to be someone else because you want them to love their version of you. Here's the thing, you should never leave your original personality. Your strengths and weaknesses make you what you are, your flaws make you unique. I'd like to quote the king of romance, Shahrukh Khan, "Koi pyaar kare toh tumse kare, tum jaise ho waise kare, koi tumhe badal kar pyaar kare, toh woh pyaar nahi, sauda kar rha hai aur pyaar mein sauda nahi hota".

8. You've Got Trust Issues With Them

Your soulmate should be someone who can be trusted with your secrets. But if you don't tell them even the minor things because they will judge you or blurt it out, then that my friend is an obvious red flag in your relationship.

9. Friends Have Been Dropping Hints

Girl giving relationship advice

When you don't feel good, your friends are the first ones to notice your behavioral change. They are your support system and with close friends, you often share your relationship issues. Some of them will just start throwing hints and the confident ones would confront you for real. Huh! Another person can't know what my life is going through? Agreed, but you can surely consider it once because it's about your own good. 

Personal Opinion: I feel that a relationship should always have a proper balance of give and take. It should be something that transforms you both into better individuals. You come in a relationship to feel happy about it, if it feels like a burden then you are holding nothing but the ashes of a dead relationship.

Monitor these signs and look if you can improve something, if not, it is better to move out of the toxicity. 

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Nikita Upreti

Written by

Nikita Upreti

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